This blog is created to honour the end of my Nationals Inter-School Canoe Championship 2009 and the end of a Canoeist Career in Junior College.
The 1st few post will be dedicated towards the setting up of this blog and will convey my thoughts and feeling over the 4 days event to honour the Sports
which I really believe in, fought for, bleed for and gave my life to.
National School Canoe Championship
Saturday, April 18, 2009 @ 9:43 PM
NATIONAL SCHOOL CANOE CHAMPIONSHIPThe competition is over. Many regrets, much guilt and disappointment there is, let’s just listen to this guy who is a top Canadian canoeist: “You have trained so hard for the past year, put every bit of your training into the race and make it a great one that you will be proud of.” Mistakes there may be, I’m sure our races, be it half screwed or screwed, be it fear or not, all of us have gave in the best we knew how to. To National School Canoe Championship 2009, though I wish to face you again, I hope you will never come back
14th Tuesday Day 1: A Far Fetched Dream, A Fading Reality
On Day 1 is our heat for K4 1000m. Since Day 1 when we began on our training on K4, my words have always been that 1000m we stood a chance, no matter how much they try to put me down, no matter how they claim that they can’t last. Our race apart from HCI and Raffles, the only competitor that is significant to us is CJC. Win them and we’ll be through.
I don’t understand. After paddling so long my instinct came back once again to haunt me. Sadly, I made the same mistake again – High Frequency. I swear this time it is different from the past. Over at NJCC it was just pure madness. I saw ACJC, and I hastily tried to catch up with them – “How can our burst even be slower than their maintenance?” That race was just purely scraping the surface after our starting burst. This time it’s different. At that point in time – I’m sure my frequency was OK! Every stroke is equally powerful and aggressive, so why? Why is it that Raffles and HCI still able to pull away so fast at our bursting stage? Why is it that when we die out at 500m, it is not a gradual decline out but a sudden death? We did that frequency before, we can last. It isn’t anything new, I’m sure… … so please tell me why?
At least, let me know the truth. If really it was my pace that has gotten everyone in trouble, then I’m terribly sorry – again.
The most possible chance to get into the Finals, it is now gone. If there is any chance of glory, it is now gone, so is my heart.
15th Wednesday Day 2 - K4: The Last March
… … Please tell me that every bit is worth fighting for. “There is always hope,” Aragon, Lord of the Rings. We have aimed for 1:45:00. Before we enter the race, I already knew that we’re going to go under 1:: 45:00 because of our newfound power, the limitless potential of our K4 and the reason for this? I walked out of the illustration that nothing can be done of our strokes – our stroke is highly flawed. The only agenda there is, every stroke must create drive! Drive … drive… drive… in the past, just how effective our 1 stroke is, we’re merely going with the water! This time we’re going to beat it! … … “You need to get a feel of the water.” – Coach Patrick.
Should we hit 1:45:00, I’ll be terribly happy and horribly upset, happy because we have hit our desired target. On a bad note, given just a month, we have obtained so much power, and there is still so much more. I can feel it, I can feel the power that’s awaiting me to obtain, and the reason being? Over at Bedok before NJCC, our sets were inconsistent, 2:01, 2:07, 2:10, 2:04 and just very luckily we hit 1:59 during 1 training. After NJCC after significant changes, our timing became consistent. 1:55, 1:55, 1:55 – without significant effort, we can still go a bit faster if we want to. What’s the only thing missing? Putting force is something we need to get used to, and 1 month of similar training can greatly increase how much force we can exert in 1 stroke. IT IS ENOUGH!
And what will the verdict be? – 1:45:00. Sigh. Is there still a need to justify? Should I have race like this for 1000m, we’ll be in the finals. To everyone who read this, I am deeply guilty. To the 3 person behind me and Mr. Chua and the pride of the guy’s team, this debt can only be repaid next life. If I and Xavier be born as twins, if I got his build, I go C2 with him. If he has my build, I’ll pull him over to K2 and break world record. “World Olympic C2/K2 champion record breakers begins career at TPJC.”
16th Thursday Day 3: By Demons Be Driven
Though we’re not part of the competition already, these prove to a day worst than the previous. I have managed to stabilize my mood a little, over the cost of failure. Today’s race feature Calista K1 and T1 in the semi-finals and Wei Wen T1 in Semi-finals. I camped in the tent the whole day, apathetic to my surroundings, what’s the use of seeing subsequent races? – they only deduct your life span.
Trying your best is one thing, winning is another. Calista and Wei Wen may have not gotten into the finals, but they gave it their all and performed up to their expectations. The worst thing is, as a guy, I really do not know what words to pull out of my hat. Trying to console them in any way is practically useless. We are not in their shoes; we do NOT have the capability to even get past our own heats, what credentials we then have to show that we understand what they’re going through. I really am at a loss. I knew I should say something but I do not have the right to. It doesn’t matter if I have the strongest mentality in the world, it doesn’t matter if I fear no tigers and lion, it doesn’t matter if I lost a race. Sometimes I wish I could race in their place and be the one feeling down and torn up instead. I repeatedly reminded myself that A GUY HAS TO BE STRONG! HE CANNOT BE FEEBLE. I realized this after 6 years of gambling, 4 years of Maple story. Screw my past. Why can’t I excel in something in those days? I’m such a failure. I have qualification to neither cheer them up nor provide them motivation and anyone in this world. Dream to be a motivational speaker? I deserve a bloody slap on my face. Wake up Kenneth, wake up your idea, don’t f*** around. STOP pretending to try be a MAN cause you fail miserably.
17th Friday Day 4: The Miracle Pill
14th Tuesday Day 1: A Far Fetched Dream, A Fading Reality
On Day 1 is our heat for K4 1000m. Since Day 1 when we began on our training on K4, my words have always been that 1000m we stood a chance, no matter how much they try to put me down, no matter how they claim that they can’t last. Our race apart from HCI and Raffles, the only competitor that is significant to us is CJC. Win them and we’ll be through.
I don’t understand. After paddling so long my instinct came back once again to haunt me. Sadly, I made the same mistake again – High Frequency. I swear this time it is different from the past. Over at NJCC it was just pure madness. I saw ACJC, and I hastily tried to catch up with them – “How can our burst even be slower than their maintenance?” That race was just purely scraping the surface after our starting burst. This time it’s different. At that point in time – I’m sure my frequency was OK! Every stroke is equally powerful and aggressive, so why? Why is it that Raffles and HCI still able to pull away so fast at our bursting stage? Why is it that when we die out at 500m, it is not a gradual decline out but a sudden death? We did that frequency before, we can last. It isn’t anything new, I’m sure… … so please tell me why?
At least, let me know the truth. If really it was my pace that has gotten everyone in trouble, then I’m terribly sorry – again.
The most possible chance to get into the Finals, it is now gone. If there is any chance of glory, it is now gone, so is my heart.
15th Wednesday Day 2 - K4: The Last March
… … Please tell me that every bit is worth fighting for. “There is always hope,” Aragon, Lord of the Rings. We have aimed for 1:45:00. Before we enter the race, I already knew that we’re going to go under 1:: 45:00 because of our newfound power, the limitless potential of our K4 and the reason for this? I walked out of the illustration that nothing can be done of our strokes – our stroke is highly flawed. The only agenda there is, every stroke must create drive! Drive … drive… drive… in the past, just how effective our 1 stroke is, we’re merely going with the water! This time we’re going to beat it! … … “You need to get a feel of the water.” – Coach Patrick.
Should we hit 1:45:00, I’ll be terribly happy and horribly upset, happy because we have hit our desired target. On a bad note, given just a month, we have obtained so much power, and there is still so much more. I can feel it, I can feel the power that’s awaiting me to obtain, and the reason being? Over at Bedok before NJCC, our sets were inconsistent, 2:01, 2:07, 2:10, 2:04 and just very luckily we hit 1:59 during 1 training. After NJCC after significant changes, our timing became consistent. 1:55, 1:55, 1:55 – without significant effort, we can still go a bit faster if we want to. What’s the only thing missing? Putting force is something we need to get used to, and 1 month of similar training can greatly increase how much force we can exert in 1 stroke. IT IS ENOUGH!
And what will the verdict be? – 1:45:00. Sigh. Is there still a need to justify? Should I have race like this for 1000m, we’ll be in the finals. To everyone who read this, I am deeply guilty. To the 3 person behind me and Mr. Chua and the pride of the guy’s team, this debt can only be repaid next life. If I and Xavier be born as twins, if I got his build, I go C2 with him. If he has my build, I’ll pull him over to K2 and break world record. “World Olympic C2/K2 champion record breakers begins career at TPJC.”
16th Thursday Day 3: By Demons Be Driven
Though we’re not part of the competition already, these prove to a day worst than the previous. I have managed to stabilize my mood a little, over the cost of failure. Today’s race feature Calista K1 and T1 in the semi-finals and Wei Wen T1 in Semi-finals. I camped in the tent the whole day, apathetic to my surroundings, what’s the use of seeing subsequent races? – they only deduct your life span.
Trying your best is one thing, winning is another. Calista and Wei Wen may have not gotten into the finals, but they gave it their all and performed up to their expectations. The worst thing is, as a guy, I really do not know what words to pull out of my hat. Trying to console them in any way is practically useless. We are not in their shoes; we do NOT have the capability to even get past our own heats, what credentials we then have to show that we understand what they’re going through. I really am at a loss. I knew I should say something but I do not have the right to. It doesn’t matter if I have the strongest mentality in the world, it doesn’t matter if I fear no tigers and lion, it doesn’t matter if I lost a race. Sometimes I wish I could race in their place and be the one feeling down and torn up instead. I repeatedly reminded myself that A GUY HAS TO BE STRONG! HE CANNOT BE FEEBLE. I realized this after 6 years of gambling, 4 years of Maple story. Screw my past. Why can’t I excel in something in those days? I’m such a failure. I have qualification to neither cheer them up nor provide them motivation and anyone in this world. Dream to be a motivational speaker? I deserve a bloody slap on my face. Wake up Kenneth, wake up your idea, don’t f*** around. STOP pretending to try be a MAN cause you fail miserably.
17th Friday Day 4: The Miracle Pill
Today is the final day and Christine’s race. I feel so proud of her and so sorry for myself. It’s a good feeling to see your teammate raping everyone and making their balls shrink on the field. Everybody is worried for her but I’m not. Cause if there’s any one in this world, I know its Christine whose mentality and courage are stronger than mine. She won’t win, she will definitely win. She cannot guarantee that she will win, because there’s a clear line between winning and thrashing. She won’t win. She’ll thrash.
The reason why I don’t watch races is because of this 1 major flaw about me – Jealousy and Ego. I’m bleeding with jealousy that I can’t be as good as the rest and choking on my own ego for always desiring to triumph other people. For Christine, for TPJC Canoeist, for the hate I have in myself, I will watch from the start till the end to see how Christine will clinch the title. I will force myself to swallow this jealousy and drop my own ego.
I need a change, for only such self demolishing feeling can make me wake up and improve, and to really start being a better person and more importantly, stop making past mistake and start being a MAN.
The reason why I don’t watch races is because of this 1 major flaw about me – Jealousy and Ego. I’m bleeding with jealousy that I can’t be as good as the rest and choking on my own ego for always desiring to triumph other people. For Christine, for TPJC Canoeist, for the hate I have in myself, I will watch from the start till the end to see how Christine will clinch the title. I will force myself to swallow this jealousy and drop my own ego.
I need a change, for only such self demolishing feeling can make me wake up and improve, and to really start being a better person and more importantly, stop making past mistake and start being a MAN.