Prelim is over. Finally
Gandalf says: One part of the journey is over, another begins.
Result is something that is not for us to rejoice over or to complain
Good results give you motivation Bad result gives you disappointment and determination will arise.
I've stop to reconsider my motives for studying so hard.
I aspire to go University that's one thing
Compete in University in Canoeing, that's another
Do my mom, a graduate of RJC, proud
But most importantly, I love to teach
... Teaching...
Current affairs seem to challenge against that foundation
Perhaps I should reconsider.
The drive to eternity is taking place soon
Hopefully, all distraction cease to take place
And along with it, peace. 
Quote of the Day:
Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.
--Franz Kafka
Conversation with De Hamzah !
Hamzah: Cannot just maths and Physics la especially for me. Good grade for physics and maths. < E for Economics and GP
Kenneth: HAHA. You should specialize what. Tomorrow's Economics'. You should focus on the Theory of Comparative Advantage to develop your niche area!
Hamzah: But you should trade also to gain in all.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!
Kenneth: Hamzah. The more I analyzed your name, the more I think that there will be a De Hamzah's Theorem in future... LOLOLOLOL! 
Cute conversation
Disclaimer: Using the word cute does not mean I'm Gay
Quote of the Day:
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
--Mark Twain
Never felt so lethargic before in studying for economics. After seemingly endless hours of Maths and Physics, it become such a pain to even dissect a stupid question. Come on, embrace yourself... embrace embrace embrace. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. I can't let this feeling devour me. What happen to all the oaths made before. NO!
Quote of the Day:
Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
--Dr. E. Land
It was a random conversation, well not really random. This person reply rate is like 1 reply in 10. Nonetheless, something came into my mind. I was thinking of a test, a set of criteria that can be used to assess how interesting a person you are. Let's see, if I draft out that standard base on this person's interest, topic of interest
- TV!!
- Jokes
- General Knowledge(Ice Cream, Chocolate, everything sweet la, haiyo!
- Latest Guy Idol (5566? Jay Chou? F4? or Luo Zhi Xiang)
- Sweet Talk
These are in the order of her interest(I guess?) and so I decided to call it the J-test. How interesting a person you are to that person depend on how well you can build a conversation based on these themes. From this I shall build upon a theory call, the theory of relative closeness to a person.
Kenneth's Theory Of Relativity(Act Chim! Hehe. This has nothing to do with Nuclear Physics)
How close a person is to a person is measured on how well the person can touch on the topic of interest. FOR INSTANCE! Joey will be a closer friend to this person as she possesses a high interest in TV as compared to someone who is not so. Joey will be closer to this person than someone who may be very good in jokes. Isn't this cute? Actually these are all crap. They are either superficial or inapplicable in the real world. I made this up so that I can have the name of Kenneth's Theory of Relativity. HAHA! (Background Info: Einstein's Theory of Relativity : E = mc^2
Isn't learning like sitting on a train to get to the destination that you want? Picture yourself having to endure a 4 hour ride to your destination. You feel bored, disengaged and uninterested. You can engage in anything active and the journey will seem faster - and that's a lot like practicing question and stuffs. In imagination, they seem to make time faster. However, you can't shorten time physically. At the end of the story, it still takes 4 hour to get to your destination.
Morale of the story - No matter what you do, whether by hook or by crook, time is the essence to success. No matter how hard, how determined, how willing you are, without the prerequisite time frame, you will never learn something fully. Therefore, be patient :)
I suddenly got another inspiration arising from Maths. I get this inspiration that we could somehow describe the world in Maths, just like how I started visualizing this world using economic jargon. Sorry if this don't appeal to non-maths people or does not appeal to non-JC maths takers.
Event #1:
In the past. There's a probability that you love someone. Let L: be the probability that you love someone. It's easy to compute because P(L) = A where A is an arbitrary constant. However now P(L | ABC.....XYZ) = ???? where love now carries so many condition. Sigh. (Conditional Probability)
Event#2:
People in the past, when money has a high value, can only afford to cultivate a good habit by saving a constant value today e.g. 50 cents a day which form a A.P. sequence. By today's standards, we're so used to results that A.P. don't work for us anymore. We want G.P. to maximize satisfaction! 50 cents. $1 .. $2 ... ... ... $n... $n+1 ... ... ... $(infinity). Dreamers... And then, when people become bankrupt, it's usually GP also. From $(infinity) to 0 = Lehman Brothers.
Event #3:
This 1 is quite obvious. Last time people's brain, only has 1 component. Now people's brain, 2 component : Real and Imaginary. Super Complex! zzzz
Event #4:
There's a reason why people are highly inconsistent in exams. That's because, people's grade are oddly distributed. They don't follow a Normal Distribution, where their grades can fluctuate in a band, say 67,68,67, 66 hence B. Their grades follow a discrete model, B, S, B, S. This concept also don't understand? No wonder don't do well in Stats la.
Event#5:
Forget it. I lazy to think already. Haha. See if anyone want to contribute by tagging at my tagboard.
Though in many sense that is a compliment, it made me ponder over other things. To my secondary school friends, I think Mdm Yang is just like the young reincarnate of Mdm Yap. They scold the same way, nag the same way, preach the same way, and lively the same the way. I'm glad when I first knew that Mdm Yang is in charge of our mathematical welfare. When she says that my maths is in a good shape yesterday morning, I couldn't help but think about certain troubling fact.
For one thing I am certain, without Mdm Yap and Yang, my maths will be like a pile of debris being washed up ashore. And even right now, I couldn't help but wonder why I didn't achieve the kind of standard in maths that was expected under their guidance. Though I have put in a reasonable amount of effort in maths, it is due to them that my efforts can be amplified. And I should make every distinguishable efforts to remember the fact that if not for Mdm Yap, I wouldn't be in JC. And I should do well to remember too that if not for Mdm Yang, I wouldn't stand a chance to be in the University. As much as I have promised Mdm Yap that I will see to the legacy of my own maths foundation, I found myself struggling and I can't remove that state of inability.
Everything made sense because I guessed I have spend too much effort trying to excel in canoeing. I have come to learn something from past experience. The world cannot function without a balance. It is evident everywhere around us. From the US imbalanced resolution towards Iran, to a person's ultimate obsession with religion, to a person that is driven by the sentiment to slim down. I'm a personality extremist, I should know better.
There has been on 2 occasion when I asked this question: I wish I could relive life so that I can re-prioritized my priority. The 1st person(I forgotten who) told me that, if I could relive, I will end up doing the same thing I do. That's because every thing that we do, we're sure at that moment that it's time well spent. The 2nd person, Mdm Yang, she said it in a more direct manner. She said I would end up in canoeing again. *Laughs* That's true. Canoeing has been my pride. The point is, how much time are we going to waste before we embrace ourselves to what's important. Right now I guess I could, but is it too late... ?
From Mr. Kevin Ng's web site "Mathematics is one of the essential emanation of the human spirit - a thing to be valued in and for itself - just like art or poetry." Have we lack or lost that kind of spirit, desires, motivation and zest to perfect the human spirit that has existed so formidably in such unison to shape the human world for the future generation - for us.
And for the last bit of our conversation, I told her that I have wasted my time trying during mid year by spending 50 hours in Maths to achieve a U. Her reply was, every bit of time that you spend inside will definitely reflect something useful and the usefulness might not show up in your grades. Do I need to explain more? I think the only thing standing between me and my grade is the fear of failure. After all, I have put in even more effort that I have ever wished for. It's not for my own pride that I'm fighting for. I'm fighting to uphold the promise I have made to Mdm Yap in Maths, Mr. Indra in physics as well as to every teacher who have given their effort to make sure I got into a JC. Should I fail, the knowledge that they have imparted will cease to be of importance.
I'm not stress, but merely figuring out a direction to further concentrate my efforts. From this Mathspiration scandal, I should have more than enough reason to push on.
Labels: Mathspiration