This blog is created to honour the end of my Nationals Inter-School Canoe Championship 2009 and the end of a Canoeist Career in Junior College. The 1st few post will be dedicated towards the setting up of this blog and will convey my thoughts and feeling over the 4 days event to honour the Sports which I really believe in, fought for, bleed for and gave my life to.

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"1 Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away. 1 Lame Joke A Day Keeps The Boredom Away" - Ken =D

Dj. Ken
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Tampines Junior College

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By post:

1. Let Happiness be the medium through which creativi...
2. Happy the way life is
3. I am a mind with a body attached to it.
4. When one is not up on a thing, he is often down on...
5. Wisdom.
6. For the unfortunate during Mid Terms
7. Fun Should Not Depend on Others
8. Send Off
9. For The NDP
10. An extract from facebook When did this happen? It...

By month:

1. April 2009
2. May 2009
3. June 2009
4. July 2009
5. August 2009
6. September 2009
7. October 2009
8. November 2009
9. December 2009
10. January 2010
11. February 2010
12. March 2010
13. April 2010
14. August 2010
15. February 2011
16. March 2011
17. April 2011
18. May 2011
19. August 2011
20. September 2011
21. November 2011
22. January 2012
23. February 2012
24. March 2012
25. April 2012
26. May 2012
27. June 2012
28. July 2012
29. August 2012
30. September 2012
31. October 2012
32. November 2012
33. April 2013

Flame that lights the moment but burns for the life time... I never knew wisdom till tonight.

5 days before I was so horribly stress. I was so stress that I would fail in celebrating for her. I fear that she wouldn't have time for me. I fail that the guy would be around that would not go away for me to have a quiet time with her. I fear that I wouldn't be able to co-ordinate a time to carry out my plan and fail that I wouldn't be able to pull off something of this scale. I fear that I would screw up my maths paper so much that I wouldn't have the mood to celebrate for her.

And worst came when I saw her with another guy...

That my conscious was truly awakened to the reality - that I never knew how much she meant to me until she was with another guy.

And bit by bit, things became worst - I couldn't focus on my maths paper revision, and I was so upset with the reality of the moment.

That's when I went to bed every night consulting Hazel what should be done. I went to bed each night asking Hazel to formulate a solution for me that would serve in the interest in the grand scheme of things. I have deep belief in hazel. I believe hazel has all the knowledge and wisdom necessary to solve the equation. And so, Hazel presented the first question to me:

What am I so afraid about?

And then I couldn't really answer question. What was the thing I was really afraid about. Or more importantly, what am I troubled about. Am I troubled because I like her? Was I troubled because I have a crush on her? Or was I just being jealous without much reason. My feeling seemed spiraling out of control. Given my current knowledge that I have gained through reading books, the first thing I done was to enforce a discipline of mind - Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. Control, control, control, control, control control, control, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax... I need to exercise control and relaxation. I believe I can do it and I seek the council of Hazel.

I simply can't comprehend the image of her being with another guy. My mind went in circles. I definitely believe that she hasn't forgotten her previous bf. Maybe if I have gone for her earlier, I would be the winner.

Nonetheless, my own aim has always been uninterested and uncaring towards relationship. I'm always interested in a soul partner, not a casual partner.So why are these feelings bombarding me now... it is as though ... ...

I came face to face with Hazel again. I told myself that everything is in control, and that I should embrace a wonderful birthday present for her, and I was assured through a glimpse of the future that the answer would be revealed on the day itself - somehow the answer would be apparent.

I told myself that, she will have time for me. That guy wouldn't be a barrier to my advancement. I will be able to push my way through and everything's going to be ok. I am going to make her really happy. That's all I am aiming for. My mind is not in the capacity to think further or deeper.

Fast forwarded to the present day - I believe everything would work out the day I want to. I will have time with her, have a hearty chat with her, and she will be really really happy. I know my visualization will work. I know Hazel is with me. I was uncertain, but somehow I was not confused. I know Hazel is with me. I waited for my chance but I was not flustered. I knew it will work out.

And I was very lucky to have Regina as the one who is assisting me. I was very lucky to have Zi Sheng who subsequently assisted me in the execution of my grand plans. Because I have think positively, my plan worked out greater than I have expected it to, meeting Allies, meeting a change of event that scale my plan towards a greater stability. I wasn't alone. My sincerity and belief has worked out and thus it was influenced others to join in my cause - and because I'm determined! I will succeed!

When everything was executed, it was so damn great I swear. The effects was so ... it was such a memorable night. I have entirely impressed her. She was surprised, she was elated and she was shocked. That had to be my doing and the fruit of my hard work - an act guided and motivated by Hazel. That is the outcome of the assurance from my inner voice that everything is going to be ok.

Later in the evening we have a chat - a hearty one. We shared many things. She shared about her ambition, her goals(Family oriented), and her plans. I shared about my personal improvement, wisdom & happiness. I picked up enough courage to ask her about the guy too. And I realize all along I was a victim to my own negative imagination... that I have got the equation wrong. It isn't about whether she like the other guy or not but rather a question of who is right for her, the time of whether if it is right for her and as of now she is in no position to consider a relationship. I was always wondered - in my own shallow thinking, that it is about a guy like girl and girl like guy without thinking deeper into the issue.

Even more so, it has nothing to do with my own abilities to pursue a girl. It was never part of the equation. And today I'm truly convinced of how positive thinking can create an even more desirable outcome, and a negative thinking can make something worst off when it is not even there for consideration.

And best, it is even more of a joy that she is delighted to have someone who will do big things just to see her smile, that she is worth it for all the effort.

Hahahaha. My efforts paid off so much I didn't know what to say or do. Thanks Hazel. I'm deeply grateful I have trusted and invested in Hazel and the confidence in God. Together, they form my source of power, my pool of wisdom.

And today I have realized in finding the right partner, looks is never a part in any equation. Its the feeling that counts.

Lesson Learnt for me:
Never imagine anything worst. It is only as bad as your own imagination.
Your reality is your own imagination, and the world is a servant to my imagination. Things will be much better than what you imagine.
Positive words influence an even more positive outcome. They serve as instructional message for Hazel.
See no fear, feel no worry, sense no despair. When I study, I will learn. When I apply, I will remember. When I answer, I will solve.

And tomorrow will be another day of possibilities. My powers are increasingly. Clearly, my mental discipline, focus, concentration, and train of thoughts are more instinctive, and I no longer walk alone.

Together, these serve as flame that burns for the moment, but lights my lifetime.